Self Reliance is The Key Success

     This train of thought has been infesting my mind more and more recently. After telling my boss about a recent development in my life that I was feeling a bit torn up over, he said, "That's why you just have to rely on yourself". Which at the time I just kind of smirked at and was feeling like that was kind of an ignorant thing to say. But the more I though about it, I realized that he was absolutely correct (to an extent anyway). You have to be satisfied with yourself or at least on the path to being satisfied with yourself  before you become depend on others to be satisfied. 

       

    Relationships end, jobs will lay you off, and in general, all good things will end. That's just how life is though, unpredictable and full of ups and downs. The important thing is to put yourself in a position when the rollercoaster of life takes you on a down, you are in a position to come back up. You can't get so attached to something that if you were to lose it, you can't picture a way you could live without it. These dependencies can get formed around other people, substances, jobs, and many other things. If you lose your significant other, you should be able to appreciate the relationship and move on. If you lose your job, you should consider your value and go look for another job (or even better, employ yourself). The key is to make yourself valuable. If you can make yourself valuable, the relationships and the jobs will present themselves, and you will be prepared to seize the opportunity.

 

    In my own life, I find myself procrastinating to increase my value until the down actually happens. Hopefully others can relate to this, but when a relationship ends, I find then I want to take better care of myself, dress better, and do more things I really enjoy. If I was more forward thinking, I would always be putting those things as a priority. The problem is that as humans, we are likely to grow comfortable with how are life is, instead of considering how much greater it could be if we were to form better habits.  I am currently working in a factory as part of summer internship program. The thing that irks me the most about the atmosphere inside, is not the monotonous labor or the constant loudness radiating from the machines. The worst part is seeing all of the unhappy faces, staring at the clock, wishing their life away for 20 dollars every hour. The relationship between employer and employee seems to be that all of the employees are only satisfied with their jobs because of the paycheck they get on Friday. The employer knows this, and also recognizes that their employees are expendable. I want to get on the intercom one day and just give a rant that everyone should just quit and live a life where they are increasing their value, completing their goals, and doing something they are passionate about. Many of them though are in a position where they rely on the paycheck to get by for the week. They have families to provide for, bills to pay, and other expenses. Through conversations I have had there, all of the middle aged employees who have often worked there for twenty or more years, always stress the importance to me of going to college to get a degree, start my own business, and to use caution to avoid getting anyone pregnant. They have had to learn the importance of giving yourself value and freeing your life from dependencies the hard way. They are now stuck working at the lousy factory, and I take their words of advice to heart.

    I don't want to be stuck in that situation. I want to live my life in a way where I am not dependent on that check to get by or where my own value is based on how much my employer or anyone else values me. I want to be able to rely on myself and be successful in my own regard. You can't cheat the system though, you can't have the rewards of truly being valuable and self reliant without putting in the work to do so. I need to continue to do things in my "free time" like reading, learning to do new things, and just doing things I am passionate about. The goal is to be able to be happy on my own and to consider myself successful, and if I can do that, the money, relationships, and enjoyable experiences are soon to follow.

Stop Letting Your Natural Man Prevail

 Hello Audience,

    I feel bad for my extended absence. I lost touch of my priorities and this blog is actually quite beneficial because putting my thoughts out there helps me think more clearly. 

    I am not a guy who considers himself smarter or wiser than other people around me. I have my dull moments and my absolute boneheaded moments. But, I am a man who can pick up on patterns in my own life and the lives of others around me. Recently, the pattern that has been on my mind is people letting their "natural man" not only be the priority in their life, but also let their natural wants hurt their long term success. Most of you probably know what I mean by "natural man", but for those who may be confused.

“The natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” (1 Corinthians 2:14). The natural man is born with a hard and un-regenerated heart that is not amenable to God and to things of God. - The Disciple Paul

    If you read this and thought "Well, this is just a bunch of religious mumbo-jumbo. I don't consider myself religious and therefor this does not apply to me." Well, it really does. In fact, it applies to even the most atheist non-believing people alive. Granted, I do consider myself somewhat religious, many of the innerworkings of the Christian faith are still unclear to me. Think of "Spirit of God" being the things in life that are truly fulfilling, the things that make you get out of bed happy everyday, the things that when you look back on your life you can truly be proud of. The way I think about this quote, just as Christians believe about the path of getting to Heaven and making yourself more Christ-like in nature, the path to feeling any sort of feeling true self-fulfillment is one that is not only difficult but requires ultimate selflessness, patience, and empathy.

People that embody the "natural man": Greedy Stock Traders, Drug Addicts, Charlie Sheen

    Pleasing the natural man is a road that is easy, comfortable, and can even be very exciting. But, it is one that won't provide any sort of true happiness. It is a road of finding the next "fix". The next drug, the next sum of money in their bank account, or the next party. When you get this "fix" the joy or relief you may feel is short lived and you will inevitably come to desperately searching for your next "fix". The problem with this way of life, is that drugs, money, and things of that nature come and go, They won't help you through your lows, and they won't help you achieve the best version of yourself. Prioritizing these artificial sources of fulfillment is a quick way to introduce corruption and struggle into your life. 

    The common misconception is that having these artificial sources is not a problem on the path to achievement. Time after time though, I have found in my own life and in many others people lives, that you can't have a ball in both courts. People don't realize the control these things take on you. In my own life, I have had my struggles with prioritizing these distractions. Every time it is the same process, I pursue things that provide artificial sources of happiness, I feel unbothered by it and don't recognize the way it's holding me back, and then, out of the blue, I get a rude awakening and have to reevaluate my life and change my priorities. I have gone through this with vaping, partying, money, and even within relationships. I always regret my pursuit of things of the natural man and always wish I would have had cut these things out of my life and pursued more meaningful things. Things that are truly valuable to me are things like genuine interpersonal relationships, achieving things in my education, and teaching myself new skills. It is hard to do these things when you are worried about things of the natural man. Whether you realize it or not, these distractions are holding you back more thank you think, and soon one of these rude awakenings will present itself and you will be left with just regret.

    The road less traveled, the road that leads away from the natural man and the artificial sources of happiness is not at all easy. Whether it be following that diet, missing those parties, or putting down the drugs, the struggle of keeping a long term perspective will test your commitment. You cannot get rid of the urges of the natural man, only learn how to control them and resist them. For me, it has always worked on a system of replacement. When I feel the urge to go out and drink with friends, I go to the gym instead. Turning down those invitations are hard, but going to do something that makes you better physically as well as clears your mind, leaves me feeling more fulfilled in the end and regret free. Fill your life with people and pastimes that make you better, and put you closer to your goals, and the future you will thank you. You may miss the pursuit of the natural man in the beginning, but in the future you can look back on your life and be proud of the person you have become. My natural man is testing me every day, and sometimes he wins. But, what's important is making the conscious choice to recognize those things as beneath you and to keep that long term perspective with every decision. Ask any recovered drug addict or formerly obese person how hard it was to give up their vice of choice, but then ask them if that choice was the begging to a happier, more fulfilling life. My challenge to myself is to further subdue the wants of my inner natural man and to spend more of my valuable time in doing things that move me a rung up the ladder on the path to true achievement and fulfillment. Don't waste your time on things that leave you feeling empty or detracted, use your time to do something meaningful.